Seven weeks. SEVEN WEEKS have passed since I had my little Boone guy. Now that I have all of my wedding work caught up, it’s time to backtrack a bit to share a bit about my baby boy….although, I guess this blog post is more about me and what I went through…physically and spiritually. And since our blog isn’t just a blog about photography, but about our life, I thought I’d share.
It’s no secret that I had a hard time with my pregnancy or that I was scared of motherhood. As I have mentioned before on this blog, finding out I was pregnant was the greatest shock of my life. I hated practically every part of being pregnant and wasn’t really looking forward to his arrival (sad, but true).
I’ll begin my story at the doctor’s office on Monday – August 23rd . After discovering that my blood pressure was slightly high,
my midwife sent me over to have my blood work taken just to be on the safe side. Up until this point for the previous couple of weeks I had had on again/off again swollen feet, blurry vision, and was vomiting. In leaving that appointment, for some reason I just KNEW that I wasn’t going to make it to my due date. Actually, I had a terrible feeling that I wouldn’t even make it until Thursday of that week even when our new carpet was to be installed. I cried myself to sleep that evening.
On the morning of Tuesday, August 24th, I was sitting on my couch editing a wedding and watching Full House when the phone rang. I was three and a half weeks out from my due date – not only did I still have a ton of editing left to complete before he was born, but not a THING was ready for our baby’s arrival. When my midwife told me
on the phone that morning that my blood work results from the previous day had revealed that I had pre-eclampsia and HELLP Syndrome and that I would need to deliver that same day, I flipped out. I was SO not ready. The test results showed that my platelet count was super low at 79 (normal levels are between 150-400) and my liver functions were a mess….the only thing we
could do to get me better was delivery.
Upon arrival to the hospital, it was soon determined by my midwife and doctor that since I wasn’t dilated hardly at all, there was no time to induce labor and deliver naturally – a C-section was necessary right then. I think at this point I was still hoping that everything would magically get better and that I would be sent home. Nope – wasn’t going to happen.
Since I was going to be completely put out, I was told that Geoff wouldn’t be able to be with me for the surgery. Considering how freaked out I was about all that was happening, this was devastating. I cried from the moment I was wheeled into the operating
room until the moment I was put out by the anesthesia. The only thing that kept me from hyperventilating was my midwife at my side holding my hand. Boone was born at 6:26pm weighing 7lbs. 10oz. and measuring at 20 inches long. Even though he was born a little premature, he was perfect in every way.
I’m so glad I have these pictures of Geoff with our baby following the delivery – thank you, Candice and Daniel!
Everything following the c-section that evening is a big blur – let’s just say I pushed that little button for more morphine more than I probably should have.
Here’s a couple more shots from Candice and Daniel:
The following evening – Wednesday – my labs revealed that despite delivering the baby, my platelets were continuing to drop (they were down to 26) and my liver functioning was not improving. We were told that they would be drawing my labs again that next morning, but that if my platelet count got down to 20, I would need a transfusion.
That night will probably go down as the lowest point of my life. Looking back, this was probably pretty irrational, but I was petrified that I wouldn’t live. I can remember lying in my hospital bed in what I called “the hole” (we were placed in a “high risk” room next to the nurse’s station – it happened to have no windows, was super small, and had no phone service or internet access)….Geoff was to my side sleeping on his bed/chair. Before he had gone to sleep he turned on our iTunes “labor playlist” on his phone to comfort me. It was 3am and I couldn’t sleep. I lie there crying in the dark….scared for my life.
It was in those moments – with Hillsong’s “With Everything” playing softly from Geoff’s phone – that peace….real, genuine peace….swept over me. I finally….FINALLY…let go. I prayed to God and let him know that I was laying everything down at His feet and was in complete surrender to Him with what He wanted to do with my life. I had fought His plan for me for the past nine months of pregnancy and had been stressed, scared, doubtful, worried throughout the delivery process up until that point….but finally, I was able to give it all up and let His way unfold with open arms. This was such a huge moment of rededication for me – I had felt so distant from Him and had my back turned to Him for such a long time.
Along with that peace and surrender came an overwhelming feeling of absolute love and feeling of connection for my little boy…..it was the first time that I felt a real desire for him to be my son. I pleaded with God to just give me the chance to be his mother.
Wouldn’t you know it….after drawing my labs that next morning, we got awesome news. My count was up to 33 and my liver was doing much better. PRAISE GOD. You have NO idea how thankful I was. From there, I was on the mend – headed in the right direction. I even was able to leave “the hole” that day and be transferred to an actual postpartum room….with windows!
So here I am – seven weeks out and am a blessed, blessed lady. I just can’t tell you how very much in love I am with this kid.
I know I had to go through all of that for a purpose. I can see now how God was in complete control the whole time and was using everything to steer me back to Him. I also know that through these trials that He carried me through, he was showing me what a
great blessing this baby was for my life.
***Special thanks to:
– Candice and Daniel of The Beautiful Mess for taking pictures of Boone’s first 30 minutes of life.
– Our friend and doula Dawn Massey of Her Labor of Love for dropping everything to meet us at the hospital. If you need a doula – call her!
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